Celebrity Crushes

This won't be a very long blog entry. Apologies in advance for that.

This past Friday night, whilst she and I drove from a post-show dinner, to pick up her girlfriend and then to a friends birthday party, my friend Kathy and I talked about Celebrity Crushes.

Kathy is enjoying a Free Month of Netflix to get her Jodie Foster fix out of the way. I think she has 3 videos right now and 2 of them are Foster flicks. I can see her point. I think Foster has beautiful eyes. She's a lovely woman. (I think I saw her topless in some silly 80's movie once and that killed my crush for her. She's much more attractive, when clothed.)

Kathy asked me who my Celebrity Crush is. I had to admit that I didn't really have one. I went through a phase in college where I was obsessed with Sheryl Crow. I had a poster of her up in my room. And I saw her in concert once (the week after she won the Grammy, so people were pretty nutty in there.) But that phase passed in a month or two and it seems silly to me now, that I was ever that into her.

I guess I feel so far removed from celebrities that there's no point in really considering them as a love interest. I might as well lust after Ghandi or Queen Victoria or Batgirl. There's simply never going to be a chance for me to be in a room with them, much less taking a full run, nude belly flop onto their naked, willing form. So, why waste time on it?

There's no celebrity that I fancy so much, that I would buy a product with their face on it. Or pay to see their movie, if the story doesn't interest me. Or bit torrent download her album, if it interested me. Also, with the computer and the internet being what it is, if there's any current media figure that I am curious to see nude, I only have to Google them to see that. And once my curiosity is satisfied, I lose interest in them. God Bless the Internet, eh?

So, no celebrity crushes for me. I suspect that even if I ever became famous and had access to these famous people, that wouldn't change for me. In my game, it's personality that's key and there stands a very good chance that the pretty little checkout girl at the local pharmacy has more to say to me than Cameron Diaz.

All that said, I think Tilda Swinton is amazingly beautiful.


(That's a picture from an art exhibit that she did. Not a still photo from some softcore film, you pervo.)

And this is her as Gabriel in "Constantine". (20 minutes of decent movie stretches over an hour thirty of crapola. Best watched in fast forward, unless Swinton is in the scene.) This is her again, below, as the angel Gabriel.



Um, also, I would be remiss, if I didn't mention my tiny crush on Jewel Staite, too. She played Kaylee, the engineer, on Firefly. She must be pretty good with machines, because she turns my crank.


She keeps insisting that we should be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I have to turn her down. No woman can tame this wild bronco.

Cheers all,
Mr. B